In today’s hyper-superficial, dysfunctional world of social media, reality TV and famed strippers-turned-babymamas-slash-housewives, it’s easy for folk — especially young girls — to get it twisted on what it truly means to be beautiful, exude confidence and possess standards.
And by “standards” I don’t mean letting stunt-hungry dudes cash out on you every chance they get. Nah, boo. You might as well consider that credit with accrued interest.
I’m talking about real, concrete, respectable standards, like showing your value by allowing a man to prove himself worthy of your attention, much less, your affection. And in order to effectively do that, we have to know our worth. But instead, we spend far too much time seeking validation from others.
We snap dozens of “selfies” from different angles, choose the best-looking one and post it to our social media accounts to see how many “likes” we accumulate from our “friends” and/or “followers,” many of whom serve little to no purpose in our actual lives. Then we fantasize over the portrayed lives of others, compare and contrast ourselves to those we see on our news feeds, and try to compete with something we believe to be real.
On top of that, when you have the Blac Chynas, Amber Roses and Kim Ks of the universe gaining world-wide recognition for their big butts, innumerable body counts and Botox injections, it’s easy for many young women to misconstrue the concepts of self-confidence and dignity. And the fact that the aforementioned women have also gotten wifed — and knocked — up by famous men in the entertainment industry only makes such concepts that much more confusing.
So let’s clear up a few things, ladies: We do not need to leak a home video, slide down a pole, twerk on a handstand or post a nude pic to gain a man’s attention. Nor do we have to chase a man down to win his affection.
If we focus on loving, respecting and living for ourselves first, we won’t need to campaign for a man — or Instagram likes — to validate us.