A while back I wrote a post about how I can tell a guy isn’t feeling me, which was VERY well-received. In fact, that post alone got over 20,000 hits in one week, so I am truly grateful to everyone who read, commented and shared. You all are the reason why I’ve been so comfortable with putting myself on blast for the past year and some change. Thank you.
Anyway, it’s only right that I take a little bit of time to talk about the types of dudes I don’t like. As a single woman, I’m constantly re-evaluating and evolving in many ways, especially when it comes to the men I choose to give my time and energy to (which is extreeeeeemely limited nowadays). I promise y’all I’m not stuck up. I’m simply a female twentysomething with a psyche comprised of peace, love, and cow-manure repellant. Translation: I no longer have the time or tolerance for b.s. And given the fact that I’ve encountered and/or dated men of all shapes, sizes and mental capacities, I believe I am well-versed enough to effectively decipher the ish I do and don’t like when it comes to men.
You know how when you first discover you’re allergic to something, you start experiencing hella symptoms that have you thinking, “Uh uhn. Sum’n ain’t right”? That’s EXACTLY how I feel when these brothas get all up in my space:
- The Walking Male Ego: On the surface, this is the man pretty much every woman prays for: fine as grandma’s good china (the kind she only pulls out of that dusty china cabinet twice a year), hella ambitious, intelligent, charming, and very well put together. But below the surface, this man is actually quite full of himself. Because he knows he’s the ish, it’s almost as if he feels like he’s totally exempt from putting in the work to properly court a woman. And since everything is always on his precious time, whenever he does reach out to you, he considers it a privilege that he’s even bothering to get to know you. LOL! This guy can have several.
- The Peddler of Fiction (aka the Pathological Liar): When Uncle O gave his very last SOTU address, I nearly hollered when he coined the phrase “peddlers of fiction” to call out all the haters who have incessantly lied and thrown salt on his name for the past eight years. Then I immediately added this phrase to my vocab list of shade. So anyway, the Peddler of Fiction dude is a straight up, bonafide liar. He lies about big things, little things, every single thing, for no apparent reason. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in early adulthood, it’s this: If I can’t trust you, it’s a wrap.
- The Bug-a-Boo: This is the guy who can’t take the “I’m not interested” hint because he has a severe lack of boundary comprehension skills. He generally is a nice guy with good intentions, which makes you feel like a complete douche whenever you politely try to let him down easily. But when he continues to text and call you making demands to hang out, your inner Omarosa emerges and before you know it, you’re going heartlessly ham on dude, telling him to delete your number before you block his.
- The Know-It-All: The one who wholeheartedly believes his opinions and perspectives are unarguable facts. He’s kind of like the Walking Male Ego guy, but the difference is this guy is way more outright with his, which is actually something I can respect. Unlike WME, Know-It-All doesn’t try to hide his jackass tendencies behind a charming, politically correct demeanor. He fully owns the fact that he is completely obnoxious, and won’t ever apologize for it. Which is the very reason why I simply can’t deal.
- The Flaky Flirt: The dude who knows how to talk a lot of sweet-nothings while doing absolutely nothing at the same time. This guy is so good, he’ll have you thinking that he actually likes you, when really the only time he texts or calls you is when it’s half past Cinderella’s curfew. Boy, bye.
- The Manipulative Control Freak: A monstrous combination of Dudes 1, 2 and 4. This guy will do anything to get his way (which, in his eyes, is always the right way), from lying to guilt tripping you by playing hella mind games. He has zero accountability for his actions and always places the blame on you whenever something goes wrong. Basically, stay away from this dude.
*Bonus* – The Grown Boy: That one guy in his twenties who still thinks it’s OK to throw up the middle finger in all his pics and post stacks of his questionably legitimate money on Facebook and Instagram. Um sir, please grow up and get your life.
Welp, there you have it. So ladies, what are some guys you’ve become allergic to in your dating life? Please comment and share!