After putting out my last post about living with my parents, my inbox went from 0 to 100 — real quick. Over the past few days, I’ve received a ton of positive feedback and personal testimonies from other folk who are pretty much in the same boat as me. I’ve also received some criticisms from the Black Belt Masters of Adulting who frown upon millennials that still live with their parents. Either way, I’m glad I was able to stir up some much-needed convo regarding the stigma that American society — namely, Black America — has placed on people who return home after college to focus on saving and getting out of debt.
Anyways, in the midst of all of the dialogue, I received a rather intriguing email that had absolutely nothing to do with that blog post lol. It was from someone seeking some genuine advice about her current relationship. Peep her email and my response below:
What advice can you give on dating a guy long distance? I’ve dated this guy for about a year and a half. We’ve finally seen each other a few months ago and just this past weekend. I’m asking because I want more, but feel as though he’s just cruising right now. We talk basically everyday but at this point that’s not enough because I want to make things exclusive. This kind of dating is new for me and I’m not sure how to go about it asking him with fear of running him off. We’re very honest about each other’s dating lives and he makes it clear he has other females friends here and there which I try to understand being we’re “just friends” but I cannot deny the connection and I hate the fact that his ex who is very sickly is still around and very prevalent in his life. Help a sista out! What should I do?
All that said, I encourage you to really think about what you’re ultimately looking for in a relationship vs. what you’re getting out of the ‘situationship’ you’re currently in. Dealing with someone for a year and a half without knowing where you stand just screams “Chasing Pavements” by Adele to me. Just be upfront with dude and let him know how you really feel. And if he’s not interested in pursuing anything more than what y’all have been doing for the past year and a half, it’s ultimately up to you to choose A (okie doke) or B (deuces). Praying you make the right choice, sis!
What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below!