It’s November, so y’all already know what that means — Cuffing Season has officially arrived. DM slides are at an all-time high and “hey big head” texts are rolling in by the minute. All the super saucy single folk who were wild’n out all summer have come back down to Earth and realized that they’re actually regular human beings who need love and affection just like the rest of us.
Now that it’s getting cold out, human interactions will be very limited for the next few months, so somebody’s gotta help you kill the time until the week before Valentine’s Day. But who? Maybe that one girl you curved for the other chick you met at the day party (who wound up curving you)? Or perhaps the really nice guy you went on a couple dates with and eventually blew off ’cause “there just wasn’t any chemistry…”? Whoever it is, you best get to sliding, fam.
Ever since Down in the DM, Yo Gotti’s infamous social media anthem, “sliding in the DMs” (sending a direct message to a potential love interest via social media platform) has become a generational phenomenon that is simultaneously hyped and frowned upon. No one really wants to be the Slider who gets screenshot by the Slidee and exposed in a group chat full of petties. Your dignity is on the line here. But you’re on a mission, so at some point you gotta put your ego to the side and just go for it.
With that being said, I’ve taken the liberty of jotting down some suggestions that may or may not be of service to you. User discretion is advised.
- Don’t start off the convo by telling the person how good they look. It honestly comes off creepy and a tad bit objectify-y. You’re already sliding in their DMs so it’s automatically implied that you think they’re attractive. No need to waste time by stating the obvious. Instead, utilize the moment to talk about something a little more engaging. Maybe they posted an article you found interesting. Maybe they’re always posting pics of their dog and you’re thinking about getting your mom the same kind for her birthday (you’re really not, but it’s still a good convo starter). Or maybe you ran into them Howard Homecoming weekend and was too faded to ask for their number (lol). The point is, spark up a convo that shows you’re interested in more than just their looks.
- Don’t be an ass. Unless you’re Kanye, that generally won’t get you anywhere. So don’t ask for nudes. Don’t make premature sexual advances. Don’t get crazy if you don’t get the response you were hoping for. You still have common sense. And manners that your mama taught you. Use them.
- Don’t slide with high expectations. Keep in mind that this person owes you absolutely nothing — not even a response. No matter how much sauce you think you got, you still run a substantially high risk of getting curved. So when you slide, slide humbly. Don’t be acting all entitled just because you put yourself out there (see #2). Regardless of if/when/how the person responds, you’ve shot your shot. Be at peace with that and proceed accordingly.
- Don’t do too much. Respond in a way that is subtle and shows interest at the same time. Don’t bombard the person with paragraphs explaining all the reasons why you feel y’all were made for each other. Just relax, play it cool and be yourself. And last, but not least…
- Don’t get stuck in DM purgatory. DMs should never be the primary source of communication. Shoot your shot, chat a lil bit and figure out a way to get out of there. Whether you politely ask for their number or just give them yours, their response will be the determining factor in how things progress from there, if at all. At the end of the day, at least you’ll know.
Happy sliding! May the odds be ever in your favor.