I can’t believe how over the top y’all been acting (emphasis on the word ACTING) over these male rompers aka RompHims aka Dickies Spring/Summer Collection 2017. And by “y’all” I’m talking about all y’all hypocritical arse men of African-American descent who been faking all over my group chats and social media timelines like y’all ain’t bout to be rocking a man-onesie next month. Y’all really gonna act like y’all weren’t just having the EXACT SAME conversation about wearing skinny jeans less than five years ago?? Unbelievable.
Listen. If you are a man who will proudly rock a pair of skinny jeans, Chelsea boots, a leather/denim jacket and fedora (depending on the weather) to any given brunch-turned-day-party, PLEASE have a seat and stop acting like you ain’t been browsing the New Arrivals section of Zara, TopMan and H&M adding every male romper you can find to your wishlist. You ain’t fooling nobody. WE SEE YOU BELOVED.
While this suddenly overhyped one-piece is nothing new to the male species, someone saw fit to make it trendy again and honestly y’all should be grateful. Y’all no longer have to worry about which tight-fitted button-up to wear with those skinny khaki capris you bought while shopping with your girl at Zara. Switch that out with a RompHim, and Bam! You got a whole entire outfit stitched and woven into one comfortable, roomy-ass piece of fabric for ONE PRICE! Why you think women love them so much? Y’all better stop playing and get hip.
Also, just for kicks and giggles, I’m about to start cat-calling every single dude I see rocking these onesies and I’ma enjoy every last minute of it. ‘Cause dudes LOVE to “Ayo girl in the romper/sundress!” every chick they see at the summer functions or walking up the street. So since the fellas about to be rocking the summer onesies, too, it’s only right us ladies return the favor. Here’s a few I’ve come up with to kick off the movement:
“AY! DUDE WITH THE FROHAWK AND THE ROMPER! COMERE I WANNA TALK TO YOU REAL QUICK!”
“AY BOY! WHERE YO GIRL AT? SHE KNOW YOU SHOWING ALL THEM LEGS?”
“AYE! AYE! OH SO YOU JUST GONNA KEEP WALKING WHILE I’M TALKING TO YOU?? WELL SKIP YOU TOO DEN!”
“AY LIL PAPA! YOU LOOKING MIGHTY GOOD IN DAT ONE PIECE. WHERE YOU GOING?”
Alright I’m done.