Every time I watch Insecure, the hit HBO series that be having men and women arguing all day (*cough* during work hours) on Facebook, I’m amazed. Amazed because every single episode taps into some vital element of my adulthood experience — whether it’s dating, career moves, or the series of bad decisions I had to learn from the hard way.
Low key, I find myself relating to every character on the show — yes, even Lawrence. And while we’re on the subject, I honestly don’t understand all the Lawrence hate. To me he’s just a regular dude who reacts to stressful situations (no job, girl caught cheating, etc.) the same way pretty much any other dude would, which is basically becoming hella withdrawn and less supportive/attentive because he’s trying to figure his own s*** out. In a nutshell, Lawrence is a naturally flawed male human demonstrating how a naturally flawed male human acts when he’s at a low point in his life (and I’ve witnessed it personally on several occasions).
But like I was saying, I find Insecure to be relatable in many ways. Seeing myself and my plethora of awkward life experiences represented in the characters and different storylines of the show allows me to reflect on several valuable life lessons I’ve learned and am still learning as I navigate through 20-something adulthood.
1. Being an adult ain’t really about having it all together. It’s about continuously striving to get your ish in order with intentions that one day, maybe, eventually, you will… Hopefully. ‘Cause Issa, Molly and Lawrence pushing 30 and they still a Little Caesar’s HOT-N-READY MESS.
2. A broken heart can’t be healed from making reckless decisions. Trust and believe I’ve been on some post-Lawrence Issa type stuff. But at some point I had to realize that I was trying to fill a void that could only be filled by God.
3. Sometimes saying “no” (and sticking with it) is the best possible decision you can make for yourself. Sacrificing the things we really wanna to do can be hard as hell, but it’s ultimately for our good in the long run. I was so proud of Molly when she turned down her friend Dro — who is married — when he initially came on to her. But since the flesh is weak (Matt 26:41) and she allowed her curiosity to get the best of her (like we oftentimes do), she gave into her SZAfied temptations and let Dro sex her into becoming the weekend chick. This won’t end well.
4. Healthy relationships require consistent communication from both sides. Issa and Lawrence’s situation is a prime example of how many of us have operated in relationships, whether we’d like to admit it or not. I’m sure plenty of women can relate to Issa suppressing her frustrations about Lawrence not having a job, and I’m sure plenty of men can relate to Lawrence becoming withdrawn from the relationship because he’s not where he wants to be in life. But they both were wrong for not being transparent with one another, which ultimately led to the downfall of their relationship.
5. Embrace who you are. What I love so much about Issa’s character is how relatably, unapologetically awkward she is. For a dominant portion of my life, I always tried to present a watered-down version of myself to fit in or win the approval of others. OH BUT NOW, y’all are getting every ounce of this quirky, over-analytical, hypersensitive, extroverted introvert, and you will deal.
6. No marriage is perfect. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and before that they were high school sweethearts. So I’ve basically always looked at their relationship like a fairytale, which had a major impact on the way I viewed relationships. Like Molly, I put my parents’ marriage on a pedestal, and while they certainly have shown me what true unconditional love looks like, I had to learn that every relationship and marriage has its own set of ups and downs.
7. Nobody cares. Like really, they don’t. ESPECIALLY your job. That’s why self-care is so damn important.
8. It’s okay to be by yourself for a while. If you’re just getting out of a serious relationship, don’t go running to the next thing walking. Take some time for yourself and get your mind right. Find a hobby. Jumpstart a passion project. Read a book. Travel. Get saved. Go on a girl’s trip. Do whatever you gotta do to heal, grow and become a better YOU.
9. Everything don’t work on your time. Idk why, it just doesn’t. But as long as you have faith and keep doing you, everything will fall into place.
What are some “Insecure” lessons you’ve learned in your twenties?