For many of us, a new year means new goals and new opportunities. We’re determined to make bigger moves and better decisions. And we’re challenged to maintain our focus and utilize our time wisely in order to achieve said goals. While there’s much for me to accomplish this year, things have been feeling rather stagnant for me lately. I’ve been struggling with writer’s block (hence my recent lack of blogging), work has been stressing me out more than it should be, and basically I just feel like I’m all over the place right now. [Read more…]
Not sure if y’all have noticed or not, but my blogging has been a bit off schedule, lately. I don’t know if it’s the weather or the unsettling fact that the next President of the United States is an impulsive, narcissistic cheeto, but my motivation tank has been looking a little struggly. To be honest, I’ve been overwhelmed. Not “Omg my life is in total shambles” overwhelmed but more like, “I have some really dope goals I’m trying to accomplish in the near future and I need to get a better handle on prioritizing and managing my time” overwhelmed. I was just talking to my mom the other day about this. She told me that she’s noticed how a lot of times I’ll be so engrossed in my phone or laptop that I don’t even realize what’s going on around me.
I can’t lie, sometimes it feels like I’m all over the place. Like I’ll have everything I need to do planned out in my head but I always somehow wind up getting distracted. Which ultimately leads to me feeling anxious and discouraged because I’ve allowed myself to get off track. Like right now, as I’m writing this blog post, I’ve probably stopped to get on Facebook and IG about four or five times within the last 20 minutes. So after coming to terms with the fact that I have a serious problem, I’ve officially diagnosed myself with FOMO. [Read more…]
All this week I’ve witnessed full-out Facebook/Twitter/GroupMe wars between men and women about the Insecure season finale. Dudes have been caping for #TeamLawrence (sidenote: I’m very shocked at how many men actually watch this show) and women have been caping for #TeamIssa. Meanwhile, both of them need
Iyanla Jesus to fix their whole entire lives. Molly, too.
Pretty much all of us have been in that relationship where things were never quite right. Y’all looked good together, but y’all really weren’t good for each other. As much as you wanted it to work, it seemed like y’all could never get on the same page. The love was definitely there, but eventually you began to wonder if love was enough. But rather than go your separate ways, you settle and become stagnant in the relationship, hoping things get better — until everything falls apart. That’s Issa and Lawrence.
As I was sorting through all the Insecure statuses on my timeline yesterday, I saw comments that blamed Issa for not expressing her feelings of doubt to Lawrence in the beginning. And then there were other comments blaming Lawrence for his complacency in their relationship. But there were a couple of comments I came across that broke everything down perfectly:
“Both Issa and Lawrence were searching for something that the other wasn’t giving them. Issa was searching to ignite her drive again for her art and work — that’s where Daniel came in. Lawrence was looking for motivation and support — that’s where the bank teller came in.”
“I think there were faults on both sides of the relationship. I certainly don’t condone Issa cheating and I understand Lawrence’s inability to move past it. I do believe there were serious issues with their communication and dissatisfaction within the relationship that made both Issa and Lawrence vulnerable to comforts of other people. Once that door was open, the relationship had little chance. Issa gave in to temptation after feeling dissatisfied with Lawrence for quite some time and Lawrence already had a taste of someone expressing that new spark of attraction and appreciation, minimizing the loss of Issa.”
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE WITH SELECTIVE HEARING IN THE BACK.
Issa and Lawrence’s situation basically shows how failure to effectively communicate with your mate can lead to the downfall of the relationship. It also sheds light on what both men and women need in a relationship. Men (Lawrence) need loyalty and support while women (Issa) need attentiveness and reassurance. Both of them knew there was a lack in what they needed from the other person, and yet neither one of them expressed how they felt to one another — something many of us have done far too often in relationships.
Overall, Insecure has done a brilliant job of bringing to light various issues involving a deeper level of self-consciousness and vulnerability that we all can relate to. From making major career moves, to dealing with microaggressions in the workplace, to sorting through all the randoms to find Mr./Mrs. Right, to wondering if we’re with the right person. Excited to see what’s in store for season 2!
2008 was probably the dopest year of my existence. I graduated high school, began my freshman year at THEE greatest HBCU on the planet, and voted for the very first time in the most historic election ever. On November 4, 2008, I gathered with my peers in the Howard University student center to witness history unfold in one priceless moment: Barack Hussein Obama was announced as the first Black president-elect of the United States of America.
I cried. I screamed. I hugged anyone within arm’s reach. I proudly chanted along to the nostalgic anthem, “My President,” which blasted repeatedly as hundreds of us marched the late-night DC streets to the White House. I was so proud. Proud not only to be Black, but proud to be a Black American. Proud to be a part of an era that my ancestors relentlessly fought and died for. Proud to have played a role in what seemed like a massive step forward for this country. Then in 2012, it happened all over again. Life was too lit to be true — until now. [Read more…]
It’s November, so y’all already know what that means — Cuffing Season has officially arrived. DM slides are at an all-time high and “hey big head” texts are rolling in by the minute. All the super saucy single folk who were wild’n out all summer have come back down to Earth and realized that they’re actually regular human beings who need love and affection just like the rest of us.
Now that it’s getting cold out, human interactions will be very limited for the next few months, so somebody’s gotta help you kill the time until the week before Valentine’s Day. But who? Maybe that one girl you curved for the other chick you met at the day party (who wound up curving you)? Or perhaps the really nice guy you went on a couple dates with and eventually blew off ’cause “there just wasn’t any chemistry…”? Whoever it is, you best get to sliding, fam.
Ever since Down in the DM, Yo Gotti’s infamous social media anthem, “sliding in the DMs” (sending a direct message to a potential love interest via social media platform) has become a generational phenomenon that is simultaneously hyped and frowned upon. No one really wants to be the Slider who gets screenshot by the Slidee and exposed in a group chat full of petties. Your dignity is on the line here. But you’re on a mission, so at some point you gotta put your ego to the side and just go for it. [Read more…]
You ever listen to a song that instantly took you back to some unforgettable, nostalgic moment when you were just vibing and living life? That’s me listening to Black Beatles by Rae Sremmurd right now. I currently have it on repeat as I’m writing this post and mentally reliving an epic homecoming weekend at my alma mater Howard University, wishing I could replay the entire thing over and over again like I’m doing this song. [Read more…]
“Hi and welcome to Tim Hortons, may I take your order?”
“Yes, I’d like a turkey sausage, egg and cheese biscuit without the biscuit, and –“
“So you want a sandwich…without the bread?”
“Yes. But instead of the biscuit can you put everything between two hash browns?”
“So you want us to put the sausage, egg and cheese on top of the hash brown?”
“Yes. And then put another hash brown on top of that.”
“Um, okay… Just one moment, ma’am.”
“Ma’am, I’m sorry but we actually just ran out of hash browns.”
“OK, you can just cancel my order. Thanks.”
“Sorry about that. Have a great day!”
Y’all see this? This is the type of stuff you gotta deal with when you’re gluten-free and trying to order your makeshift gluten-free breakfast sandwich from Tim Hortons.
Yeah, I said the “p” word.
I know some of y’all are shocked and appalled that I didn’t use a more discreet term like loins or love pocket. And I’m sure others find it intriguing and/or amusing that I used a hyper-sexualized word in a very non-sexual context (like literally NON lol). But whether you’re shocked/appalled by it or intrigued/amused by it, the majority of you reading this have one main thing in common: It got your attention. So instead of focusing on that word, let’s get to the topic: Why I chose to be celibate and how it has impacted my [dating] life.
For some strange reason, celibacy seems to ruffle a lot of folk’s feathers. People have actually gotten defensive and low-key upset (why, I have no clue) when they learn I’m keeping the poon poon on lock until marriage. I had someone basically tell me that I’m stupid for forcing myself to not have sex. [Read more…]
It all started one day when someone posted a random pic in one of the five hundred group chats I’m in.
“What y’all think about what she got on?” the person asked. As per usual, folk immediately start dropping their two cents.
“That dress is so inappropriate,” one girl said.
“She probably could’ve worn a cardigan, but I don’t think it looks that bad,” another stated.
“It looks like she’s going to the club. She know she wrong for wearing that,” said another.
As my peers continued to assess this random woman’s attire, I took a brief moment to observe the photo more closely. In it was a cute, shapely woman who appeared to be in her early to mid twenties, wearing a salmon-colored midi dress in the middle of an elementary school classroom. Her dress is rather form-fitting, but to me it’s nothing outside of what I’ve seen plenty of women wear from work to happy hour to Bible study on Wednesday (with pearls and a blazer, of course). [Read more…]
From the end of July through the entire month of August, I was looking like I could’ve easily been Lisa Bonet’s long lost half step-daughter (honestly, truly). My linesisters and I took a trip to Barbados the end of July for our five-year Deltaversary, so I decided to go island gal chic with a head full of 22-inch goddess locs. I think I pulled it off. What y’all think? [Read more…]