So last Friday as I was headed down to Chicago for the weekend, I had a one-on-one convo with myself and here’s how it went:
Myself: Well, Kori, you’ll be 27 in a few days. In three years you’ll be the Big 3-0!
Me: Don’t remind me.
Myself: Why not? Every year of life is a blessing. You make it seem like it’s the end of the world.
Me: I know, it’s just a little overwhelming.
Myself: Overwhelming? Elaborate.
Me: I mean I’m beyond grateful for everything God has been doing in my life. It’s just lately I’ve been feeling like I’m not really where I need to be right now.
Myself: And where exactly do you feel you need to be?
Me: Idk, somewhere publishing my second book (I’m still working on my first one), expanding my network, influencing lives…you know, dope shit.
Myself: And you don’t think you’re doing any of that already?
Me: I mean yeah, but not at the level I want to be.
Myself: Lol you’re being way too critical of yourself.
Me: What’s wrong with pushing yourself to be better?
Myself: I mean nothing at all, but only when it doesn’t involve you comparing yourself to everyone else around you.
Me: Everyone else? Like who?
Myself: Like other writers, random folk flourishing on social media…your sister…
Me: I get what you’re trying to say, but it’s not even like that. Especially with Erin. Everyone knows how much I love that girl and how proud I am of her.
Myself: Of course you are. But c’mon, Kori, let’s be real. It doesn’t bother you a little bit that your younger sister is already moving out of your parents’ house and moving forward in her career?
Me: I mean I’ll admit it makes me a little self-conscious, but you’re making it seem like I’m bitter or something.
Myself: I never said that. But I am saying you need to check yourself ‘cause this little self-pity thing you got going on lately ain’t cute.
Me: Excuse me?
Myself: Seriously, what happened to you? A year ago you were so confident and sure of yourself. Now you’re moping around acting like the world owes you something.
Me: No I’m not.
Myself: Yes you are, but that’s not the point. All I’m saying is, if you’re not satisfied with your life right now, you have the power to change that.
Me: I know, but it’s not always that simple.
Myself: Think about everything that has happened in your life over the last five years. Right after you graduated from college you were diagnosed with a clinically incurable disease, from which you recovered six months later. And you’ve inspired a ton of people simply by sharing your testimony. You started your own clothing line. You launched a dope blog that has grown substantially over the past couple of years. You know how you were able to do all of that?
Me: By having faith.
Myself: Exactly. You gotta start having faith again, Kori. And stop questioning why things aren’t going exactly the way you want them to go right now. God has already planted everything you need inside of you, you just gotta believe and tap into that power.
Me: Yeah, you’re right.
Myself: Right so get it together.