For many of us, a new year means new goals and new opportunities. We’re determined to make bigger moves and better decisions. And we’re challenged to maintain our focus and utilize our time wisely in order to achieve said goals. While there’s much for me to accomplish this year, things have been feeling rather stagnant for me lately. I’ve been struggling with writer’s block (hence my recent lack of blogging), work has been stressing me out more than it should be, and basically I just feel like I’m all over the place right now. [Read more…]
Yeah, I said the “p” word.
I know some of y’all are shocked and appalled that I didn’t use a more discreet term like loins or love pocket. And I’m sure others find it intriguing and/or amusing that I used a hyper-sexualized word in a very non-sexual context (like literally NON lol). But whether you’re shocked/appalled by it or intrigued/amused by it, the majority of you reading this have one main thing in common: It got your attention. So instead of focusing on that word, let’s get to the topic: Why I chose to be celibate and how it has impacted my [dating] life.
For some strange reason, celibacy seems to ruffle a lot of folk’s feathers. People have actually gotten defensive and low-key upset (why, I have no clue) when they learn I’m keeping the poon poon on lock until marriage. I had someone basically tell me that I’m stupid for forcing myself to not have sex. [Read more…]
From the end of July through the entire month of August, I was looking like I could’ve easily been Lisa Bonet’s long lost half step-daughter (honestly, truly). My linesisters and I took a trip to Barbados the end of July for our five-year Deltaversary, so I decided to go island gal chic with a head full of 22-inch goddess locs. I think I pulled it off. What y’all think? [Read more…]
Growing up, I always had a clear-cut vision of what my life would be like once I became an adult: graduate from college, move to New York and become the next Carrie Bradshaw, meet and fall in love with a fine, chocolate, financially stable tenderoni, get married around 26, start popping out kids around 27 or 28, and live happily ever after with my perfect career, perfect husband and our perfect little family.
Then real life happened.
Right after graduating from college I struck ill with a rare disease called dermatomyositis, moved back home to Michigan with my parents to seek treatment, recovered by the grace of God six months later, and jumpstarted my career at a local publishing company shortly thereafter. This experience — and adulthood in general — pretty much taught me that life never happens exactly the way you envision it. There’s always — ALWAYS — a plot twist.
Life never happens exactly the way you envision it. There’s always — ALWAYS — a plot twist.
So now, here I am: a 26-year-old Black woman who is still single and still living at home with her parents. Whew! There. I said it. [Read more…]
Writing this blog post kind of reminds me of that feeling you get when you see all your favorite cousins for the first time at the family reunion — it’s been a minute, and I got so much to tell y’all.
So basically, May has been a busy month for me (hence why I’ve been slacking on the posts lately). My family and I went to DC a couple of weeks ago to witness my amazing sister, Erin Ashley Winters (full government necessary), receive her bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism from my beloved alma mater, Howard University. As I stated in a rather sentimental Facebook post, Erin came to HU the same year I graduated back in 2012 and took ish to a whole ‘nother level. From studying abroad in South Africa, to moderating a live webcast with the president of Howard University, to being appointed to cover the White House Canada State Visit, to graduating Magna Cum Laude with a 3.7 cumulative GPA, to earning THE TOP JOURNALISM AWARD FROM THE SCHOOL OF COMMUNICATIONS (YES, I AM BRAGGING), this girl has truly outdone herself and I couldn’t be more proud of her. [Read more…]
On this day four years ago, I was two weeks away from graduating college and felt like I was moments away from my deathbed.
Over the last few months of my senior year, I went through some drastic physical changes. It started with a strange, itchy rash on the left side of my chin. Then another developed on the back of my neck. Then several more appeared on my legs and under my armpits. My muscles were sore to the point where it felt like I had been doing an intense cardio kickboxing class everyday. I was physically weak and tired all of the time, and depression had sucked out the little energy I had left in me.
Graduation Day was a blur. My entire body had swollen up and I couldn’t even walk ten steps without trying to catch my breath. I remember my entire family crying at my graduation party — not tears of joy, but ones of sorrow and confusion. A joyous occasion had been tainted by this random, mysterious plague that had taken over my body. I had no clue what was going on with me and I was terrified. It wasn’t until a month later that I was finally diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease called dermatomyositis (DM). [Read more…]
If you’re my friend on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or in real life, you’re well aware that my birthday was a couple days ago. I kicked things off last Friday with a fancy, intimate dinner with friends and closed things out on Sunday (my actual birthday) with a nice brunch and some quality time with the fam. The entire weekend was the perfect combo of class and ratchetness, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
In the midst of my bday festivities, Queen Bey somehow managed to flawlessly frolic her way into the equation — all the while slaying in a canary yellow Roberto Cavalli dress and smashing cars with Hot Sauce, which we now know is the name of her handy-dandy baseball bat (just when she had y’all thinking carrying around Frank’s Red Hot in your pocketbooks was cool.)
Now let me explain something real quick. I am in no way, shape or form a member of the Beyhive, Beygency, Bey-613, or whatever the heck they call y’all crazy folk who will literally cut someone with a dull spoon for spelling Beyoncé’s name without the lil accent mark at the end. Don’t get me wrong, I got mad respect for Bey. But the large majority of her fans are just too doggone crazy for me, so I simply admire her from afar. But after watching/listening to this new “Lemonade” album, I MIGHT have to go and sit in on a local Beyhive chapter meeting. Might. [Read more…]
By Christopher Montgomery
About 8 years ago I made the decision to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage.
Growing up, I never met a man who made a conscious effort to discipline himself sexually. Ironically, the environment I grew up in taught me that having sex with multiple women added value to your manhood. It wasn’t until I met my pastor, Bishop Antoine Jasmine, when I was a 19-year-old college student that my mentality changed. At the time I was having sex, smoking weed, and basically just living a reckless lifestyle. A friend of mine wound up inviting me to church one day, so I decided to go. The moment Bishop Jasmine prayed for me I felt forgiven, refreshed, rejuvenated, and ultimately, I felt free. [Read more…]
Did I ever tell y’all I started my own editing business back in college? Nawl? Oh. Well, yeah. I started my own editing business back in college.
It was called Ko-Edit (clever, I know) and it was hella legit. I mean I had an official logo, business cards, price quotes, the whole shebang. Whenever my classmates needed help writing or editing their papers, I would hook them up for a small fee. I had a cool lil hustle going until I eventually let Ko-Edit fall by the wayside. But over the years, editing people’s stuff remained a hobby of mine (’cause generally, when people know you’re a good writer, they basically see you as spellcheck in human form). Close friends and family would always hit me up asking me to look over and/or fix up something. Over the past few years or so, I’ve edited everything from résumés, to cover letters, to essays, to professional emails, to a book that is now published on Amazon. Most of which I’ve done for free (with a few exceptions, like the book) because I genuinely enjoy utilizing my gift for written word to help others. [Read more…]
So let me catch y’all up on what’s been going on in my life over the past week or so. For starters, I had the pleasure of interviewing my fellow Detroit sis Tomeka Kolleh, who shared her inspiring story of how stepping out on faith in the midst of adversity wound up landing her a job — AND a promotion, hello! — working for Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs. The next several days following our interview, I spent the majority of my life transcribing, writing, editing, re-reading, adding and deleting ish — and then repeating that process several hundred times. Then my brain went into WELPITY WELP Mode and shut down completely, which is when I finally decided to stop being an obsessive writer control freak and just publish that mug. The article was so well-received (almost 200 shares on Facebook alone!), that my HU sis Kiah McBride, the managing editor at xoNecole.com (one of my favorite media sites), hit me up that same day asking if they could run my article as a guest feature. UM, YES!
So the next day my article was published on xoNecole.com!!! Y’all already know I was hyped (still am), and of course, Tomeka was ecstatic. But the way everything played out was the epitome of #BlackGirlMagic: three Black women — Tomeka, Kiah and I — coming together and utilizing our platforms to produce something epic. And that’s really what it’s all about, y’all — collaboration and elevation. Which leads me to my next piece of great news! 🙂 [Read more…]