All this week I’ve witnessed full-out Facebook/Twitter/GroupMe wars between men and women about the Insecure season finale. Dudes have been caping for #TeamLawrence (sidenote: I’m very shocked at how many men actually watch this show) and women have been caping for #TeamIssa. Meanwhile, both of them need
Iyanla Jesus to fix their whole entire lives. Molly, too.
Pretty much all of us have been in that relationship where things were never quite right. Y’all looked good together, but y’all really weren’t good for each other. As much as you wanted it to work, it seemed like y’all could never get on the same page. The love was definitely there, but eventually you began to wonder if love was enough. But rather than go your separate ways, you settle and become stagnant in the relationship, hoping things get better — until everything falls apart. That’s Issa and Lawrence.
As I was sorting through all the Insecure statuses on my timeline yesterday, I saw comments that blamed Issa for not expressing her feelings of doubt to Lawrence in the beginning. And then there were other comments blaming Lawrence for his complacency in their relationship. But there were a couple of comments I came across that broke everything down perfectly:
“Both Issa and Lawrence were searching for something that the other wasn’t giving them. Issa was searching to ignite her drive again for her art and work — that’s where Daniel came in. Lawrence was looking for motivation and support — that’s where the bank teller came in.”
“I think there were faults on both sides of the relationship. I certainly don’t condone Issa cheating and I understand Lawrence’s inability to move past it. I do believe there were serious issues with their communication and dissatisfaction within the relationship that made both Issa and Lawrence vulnerable to comforts of other people. Once that door was open, the relationship had little chance. Issa gave in to temptation after feeling dissatisfied with Lawrence for quite some time and Lawrence already had a taste of someone expressing that new spark of attraction and appreciation, minimizing the loss of Issa.”
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE WITH SELECTIVE HEARING IN THE BACK.
Issa and Lawrence’s situation basically shows how failure to effectively communicate with your mate can lead to the downfall of the relationship. It also sheds light on what both men and women need in a relationship. Men (Lawrence) need loyalty and support while women (Issa) need attentiveness and reassurance. Both of them knew there was a lack in what they needed from the other person, and yet neither one of them expressed how they felt to one another — something many of us have done far too often in relationships.
Overall, Insecure has done a brilliant job of bringing to light various issues involving a deeper level of self-consciousness and vulnerability that we all can relate to. From making major career moves, to dealing with microaggressions in the workplace, to sorting through all the randoms to find Mr./Mrs. Right, to wondering if we’re with the right person. Excited to see what’s in store for season 2!